作者：Jesse Harlin

这是我在《辐射4》游戏世界中的极端情感之旅：

我花了整个周末才完成《辐射4》。我已经玩了这款游戏很长一段时间，而我之所以需要花费这么长时间才能完成它的一个原因便是我投入了许多情感于创造居住地系统中，这是《辐射》系列游戏的全新内容。

TheWasteland(from gamasutra)

当游戏开始时，就和其它《辐射》游戏一样，你将选择自己的性别。在我所玩的上个开放世界游戏（游戏邦注：《龙腾世纪：审判》）中，我扮演的是男性角色，但我会在男性和女性之间转换以提供选择。而不管你选择怎样的性别都不会有太大的区别。于是这次在《辐射4》中我选择了女性角色。结果便是我一开始面对的是被绑架的儿子的情况。我需要去寻找我的儿子并将他带回家。没有人能抢走我的孩子。

当我发现你可以创造自己的城镇和居住地时，我便马上决定去征服Wasteland。我想创造一个安全领域在我找回儿子后能够让他生活在那里。我重新创建了一个家园，并确保它足够华丽。所以我便开始“筑巢”。

在2277年的世界中，这并不是一个轻松的任务。因为不管是好战的人，机器人还是核蝎子都可能置我于死地。这意味着我需要前往一片受过辐射的荒地去杀死Raiders和Super Mutants以获取他们的字母积木去帮助自己寻找儿子。我将在游戏世界中寻找胶布并将其分块去为我的儿子制作一张床。2277年的Wasteland没有什么可提供给孩子的东西，但有时候我还是能找到一些Wasteland之前的玩具。而那些很脏且破旧的玩具与奖杯倒是随处可见，如玩具外星人，玩具汽车，棒球手套，泰迪熊之类。但它们实在都太脏了。

当我的儿子回家时，我肯定不希望他是在垃圾堆中长大。Bethesda同时也在游戏中设置了特殊的一次性垃圾。如果我在找到儿子后要教育他，我自然不会使用破掉的地球仪，而是会呈献给他一个干净的地球仪。我也不会给他破烂的棒球手套。我会让他因为拥有全新的来自Treasures of Jamaica Plains的青年联盟棒球手套而倍感自豪。我将清理Wasteland并在这里为我的儿子建造一个温暖的家园。

然后，也就是在典型的《辐射》模式下，我发现事情并不像我想的那样发生。我的儿子是我在战前被冷冻时被盗走的。随后他也长大并有了自己的生活，即变成了秘密研究院（一个地下技术天堂）的主任。即使他并不是一个已经60岁的中年人，但是我亲爱的Shaun却不愿意住在我所建造的受过辐射的华丽垃圾堆中。当然了，从表面看来这的确是一个最最华丽的垃圾堆。但它毕竟是由垃圾建成的。而我的儿子毕竟是来自一个没有污秽与辐射的世界，一个Wasteland之后伴随着洁净室和实验室外套的世界。我们虽然并不认识彼此，但他还是非常像我。

在我最终找到并和Shaun团聚的时候，我还是会时不时去看看我为儿子创造的房间并失望地站在门道那。可以说Bethesda创造了让我投入全部情感去收集垃圾的游戏与系统。当我站在门道中，我觉得自己好似真的在怀念那个我没有能力去养大的儿子一样。

随着游戏的发展，我开始鄙视我的儿子最终变成的那个人。慢慢地我们变成了彼此的敌人。我最终将军队带向了他的研究院并摧毁了他们的整个生活方式。我发现自己正朝着他的研究院射击并愤怒地想到我所创建的房间，这里有我穷其一生所收集到的所有宝贝，但最终我所面对的却是我所不能去培养的孩子。

我将选择离开并永远不再回来，而在即将炸掉研究院时，我眼前出现的是一个机器人般的儿子。那时候他才10岁，一直叫我妈妈并让我去救他。

我说：“好的，和我一起走吧”，我为你创造了一个家园。

于是我救出了Shaun并将他带到Sanctuary Hills，即我为他创造的家园，在名为Sanctuary的城镇中心摆放着他之前玩过的玩具与看过的书籍。我丢掉了自己的武器，铠甲以及其它战斗工具。我第一次卸掉了自己的Vault服装并换上普通的T恤和休闲裤，这些都是我为了能够放下战斗并专心作为Shaun的母亲所准备的

这时候我唯一需要做的便是将Shaun带到他房间的床上让他获得安全感。

屏幕上会出现：“你不能控制这一资源”。虽然我付出了所有辛苦的工作，但我却不能告诉Shaun他的床在哪里。Shaun将永远不能找到自己的房间。

所以我在《辐射4》总的情感投入就如过山车一般。其实就像面对你自己的孩子一样，你并不能要求他们做你希望的事。你只能尽最大所能为他们创造美好的生活并提供给他们成长需要的资源。而他们最终将过上属于自己的生活。即使那和你所希望的相差甚远。

（本文为游戏邦/gamerboom.com编译，拒绝任何不保留版权的转发，如需转载请联系：游戏邦）

Emotional Wreckage: My Emotional Journey through the Wastes of Fallout 4

by Jesse Harlin

My extremely emotional journey through the world of Fallout 4 (Naturally, Fallout 4 Spoilers Ahead, so be forewarned):

I beat Fallout 4 over the weekend. I’ve been playing it for a long time. One of the reasons that I took so long to finish it is I was deeply emotionally invested in the settlement crafting system, something new to the Fallout games.

When the game starts, like all Fallout games, you choose your gender and whatnot. I was a guy in the last open world game I played (Dragon Age: Inquisition), and I tend to alternate back and forth between guys and gals in games that offer the choice. Almost without fail, it seems to make very little difference which gender you pick, but I alternate just because I can because it’s there. So this time, I picked a woman for Fallout 4. As it turns out, the game starts off with your infant son being kidnapped. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a dad now, or that I have a second baby on the way, but this made me go full-on Mama Grizzly on that game. I was going to find my son and bring him home. No one takes my baby away from me.

When I learned that you can craft your own towns and settlements, I immediately set about trying to tame the Wasteland. I wanted to carve out a safe space for my infant son for when I got him back. I rebuilt a house, and I made sure to make it as nice and inviting as I possibly could. I started nesting.

In the world of 2277, that’s not an easy task. It means fighting people and robots and nuclear scorpions that want to kill me. It means marching out into an irradiated wilderness just so that I can murder Raiders and Super Mutants in the hopes that they’d have wooden alphabet blocks I could scavenge for my infant son. I means scouring the world for duct tape so that I can break it down into cloth and build my son a bed. The postapocalytic Wasteland of 2277 doesn’t have much to offer children, but sometimes I could find antique pre-Wasteland toys. Dirty, scuffed toys and trophies are commonplace: toy aliens, toy cars, baseball gloves, teddy bears. But they’re grimy. Want a globe? You can find thrashed globes all over the Commonwealth.

But my kidnapped son was going to come home to me. And when he came home, he wasn’t going to be raised in a palace of garbage. Bethesda has also put special one-off versions of commonplace junk in the game, as well. If I was going to teach my son after I found him, he wasn’t just going to have a broken Globe, he was going to have the Clean Globe. He wasn’t going to just have a beat-up Baseball Glove. He was going to be the proud owner of the Youth League Baseball Glove, fresh from the Treasures of Jamaica Plains. I scavenged the Wasteland to build a warm home for my missing son.

And then, in typical Fallout fashion, I found out that things weren’t going to be what I wished they were. My son had been stolen from me while I was cryogenically frozen. He grew up. He lived his own life as the director of the secretive Institute, a subterranean technological paradise. Even if he weren’t an 60 year-old man, my precious Shaun would have zero interest in coming to live above ground in the irradiated glorified garbage dump I’d built. Sure, it was the nicest garbage heap on the surface. But it was still scavenged from trash. My son, however, was the director of a world free of filth and radiation, a world he himself had carved out of the Wasteland with cleanrooms and labcoats. We never knew each other, and still he was so very much like me.

After finally finding and being reunited with Shaun, I would sometimes visit the room I’d built for my son and stand in the doorway disappointed. Bethesda created a game and a system by which I’d become completely emotionally invested in collecting garbage. I would stand in the doorway and feel a sense of mourning for the son I never was given the ability to raise.

And as the game when on, I came to despise the man he grew into. We became enemies. I eventually lead the army that marched on his Institute and destroyed their entire way of life. I found myself shooting up The Institute and thinking angrily about that room I’d built, with all the treasures I’d risked my life to collect and the inadvertent shrine I’d created to a child I’d not been allowed to raise.

As I was about to leave and never come back, moments from nuking the Institute entirely, I was confronted with a synthetic robotic version of my son. There he was: 10 years old, calling me Mom and asking me to save him.

“Yes,” I said. “Come with me,” I said. I made a home for you, I thought.

I rescued Shaun and took him to Sanctuary Hills where I’d built him his room, where his pristine toys and books and hard-fought comfort existed in the center of a town called Sanctuary. I deliberately put away my weapons, and my armor, and my tools of war. I took off my Vault suit for the first time and put on the T-Shirt and Slacks that I’d collected for just this moment: the moment when I could put the fighting aside and just be Shaun’s Mom.

There was only one thing left to do: assign Shaun to the bed in his room so that he could be home and safe and protected.

“You cannot command this resource.” read the screen. Despite all of my hard work, I can’t tell Shaun where his bed is. Shaun cannot be made to go into his room. Ever.

And in doing so, my emotional rollercoaster with Fallout 4 continued. Like all children, you can’t make them do what you want. You can only try your best to create a nice life for them and give them the resources they need to flourish. They’ll live their own lives, though. Even if it’s 100 yeards from where you want them to be.

Children. Children never change.(source:gamasutra)