作者：Matthew Wasteland & Magnus Underland

本文发表于最后一期《游戏开发者杂志》（2013年6月/7月）上。Matthew Wasteland和Magnus Underland模仿不同开发者的语气写了几封离开工作室的告别信，以这种特殊的方式告别他们自己的工作室。以下几种格式，你见过哪些？

黯然退场型

各位好，你们也许还不知道，今天就是我呆在这里的最后一天了。在这里工作的8年间，我其实并不认识你们所有人。也许是因为我只是一名大部分时间都呆在服务器室里的测试员。

无论如何，我将在街角的酒吧里举办一个小欢送会，如果愿意，你们就来吧。我打算喝完啤酒后直接回家看电影《巴比伦5号》。

P.S.今后的测试过程可能会有点慢。过去，我每天早上5点都手动修改测试版中的约20个错误。不知道大家是否知道。

say goodbye to your boss(from deseretnews.com)

功成身退型

各位忠诚的雇员，

当我于6周以前作为执行副总裁的身份，加入这家行业领先的公司，负责商业开发时，我们仍然处于巩固商业模式、头脑风暴收益流和寻找破坏性影响因素的初期阶段。

现在，我们计划表上的经营收益已经翻倍，多亏了我号召大家“翻倍表单上的数字”。正当我们的公司准备就绪，踏上漫长的、艰难的收益之路时，我决定从容地退下来。因为我想多把时间花在陪伴家人和探索新机遇上。我很荣幸曾经为你们将来的成功添过一砖一瓦！

暴怒退出型

好吧，这是本月第六次我的其中一个墨西哥卷在冰箱里不翼而飞了，即使我已经在盒子上贴了我的名字！我的每一份墨西哥卷上都贴了名字。我都不知道我跟制作人反映过多少次了。该死，也许他就是偷吃的人之一！你们知道，我们正在全力制作稳定的版本，以便及时发布并于第二天推出更新，我必须吃东西才能干活。手下留情行不行？

事实上，你们知道么？我受够了。我真的要走了。没了我，你们那墨西哥卷似的大脸会有什么表情呢？走着瞧吧。享受你们的免费午餐吧，这是我赏你们的。拜托你们从我生命中彻底消失吧。我终于解脱了。

随便谁把这个交给HR吧。

P.S.谁也别碰我桌上的手办（游戏邦注：手办是指表现原型师个性的garage kit,即没有涂装的模型套件）！！！我明天会借室友的车，然后周一来取。

封杀型

各们好，我猜你们现在应该知道我找到新工作了。当然，我相信我们的游戏会由优秀的人才接手。新的免费游戏特别有趣——夏令营主题！一听就让人兴奋不已。

总之，我知道在我们的新游戏没有达到预计指标时，情况很不妙，但这给我们上了宝贵的一课。离开让我很难过，特别是知道他们调研了好一阵子的免费体育馆现在终于批下来时。我的新工作室当然有自己的体育馆，但不用担心，我仍然会偶尔回来吃个饭，缅怀一下旧时光。我会想你们的，真期待看到这帮人才会做什么好东西。——Bob

你们当中有些人可能知道，Bob不在公司了。如果他给你们发邮件，请不要阅读，直接转发给HR。如果你们在停车场看到他，请提高警惕。

禁止任何人与Bob说话。以上。

感谢配合！——行政部

真正的告别

亲爱的《游戏开发者杂志》的读者们，

感谢你们在过去6年以来对我们栏目的支持。你们的邮件使我们面对艰难的开发工作时，仍然能保持动力。我们最喜欢的回应是：“你一定在我们工作室工作过！”这是一个不同的工作室，但工作模式是一样的。

所有游戏开发者们，请继续努力工作吧：你们并不孤单。

你们真诚的，

Matthew Wasteland, Magnus Underland

（本文为游戏邦/gamerboom.com编译，拒绝任何不保留版权的转载，如需转载请联系：游戏邦）

The many ways to say goodbye to your studio

By Matthew Wasteland & Magnus Underland

In this reprint from the final (June/July 2013) issue of Game Developer magazine, Matthew Wasteland and Magnus Underland say goodbye in their uniquely cheeky way — with a “taxonomy” of developer farewells. How many of these have happened where you work?

Unrecognized Linchpin

Hi all, you probably didn’t know this, but today is my last day. I didn’t really get to meet many of you during the eight years I worked here. Possibly because I was the tester who sat in the server room most of the time.

Anyway, if you care, I’ll be having a going-away thing at the bar down the street. You can come if you want. I was planning on having a beer and then heading home and watching Babylon 5.

P.S. Just a note. The build process might be a little slower after today. I used to fix 20 or so errors in the build manually every day at 5 a.m. so it could go out to the studio. Not sure if you guys knew that or not.
Triumphant Executive

Loyal Employees,

When I joined this industry-leading company six weeks ago as your Senior Executive Vice President of Business Development, we were still in the nascent stages of solidifying our business model, brainstorming revenue streams, and seeking out disruptive influencers.

Now, operating profit in our planning spreadsheets has more than doubled, thanks to my innovative “double the numbers in the spreadsheets” initiative. And with our organization more ready than ever before to embark upon the long, hard road to profitability, I’ve decided to graciously step down in order to spend more time with my family and explore other opportunities. I am beyond proud to have paved the way for your future success!

Warmest Regards,

Brent Hornblower, Esq.

LinkedIn | Plaxo | Orkut

Rage Quit

Okay, this is the SIXTH TIME THIS MONTH that one of my burritos disappeared from the freezer, even though I put my name ON THE BOX. AND ON EACH BURRITO. I can’t believe how many times I’ve told our producer about this. Heck, maybe he’s the one eating them! You know, it’s not like we’re trying to get a stable build onto staging in time for the next update WHICH IS TOMORROW, and I need to EAT in order to be able to DO MY JOB. HELLO?

Actually, you know what? Screw this. I’M DONE. I’m out of here, like, for real. Let’s see how well your burrito-stuffed faces can get that build up without me. Enjoy your FREE FOOD, provided by me to you for absolutely FREE, and get out of my life forever. PLEASE. GOOD RIDDANCE.

Someone forward this to HR.

P.S. NOBODY touch the mint-in-box action figures on my desk!!! I’ll borrow my roommate’s car and come pick them up on Monday.

Greener Pastures

Hey guys, I guess you heard by now that I’m leaving for that new place across town. Of course, I’m confident our games will be left in the best hands. That internal pitch for the new F2P title was particularly exciting — a summer camp theme! That sounds like it’ll be super fun.

Anyway, I know things are tight after we didn’t achieve the numbers we were supposed to with the last game, but it seems like the right lessons were learned. I’m kind of sad about leaving, especially now that the free gym memberships they’ve been talking about for a while might finally be coming through. My new studio apparently has its own gym on campus, but not to worry, I’ll still come by for lunch once in a while for old times’ sake. Going to miss you guys, and really looking forward to seeing what this talented team will cook up next. =)

Bob

As some of you may know, Bob is no longer with the company. If Bob tries to email you, please do not read it and forward it to HR instead. If you see Bob in the parking lot, alert security immediately.

Nobody is allowed to talk about Bob. That is all.

Thanks,

Management

And Now, A Genuine Goodbye

Dear Readers of Game Developer Magazine,

Thank you so much for reading our column over the last six-ish years. We had a great time writing it and the mail we got from you helped to sustain us through our own game development travails. Our favorite response was, “You must have worked at my studio!” And no, it was a different studio, but the patterns were the same.

To all line-level game developers out there, trying to do good work in a messed-up system: You are not alone.

Sincerely,

Matthew Wasteland, Magnus Underland(source:gamastra)