作者：Andrew Grapsas

你应该听说过《Through a Dog’s Eyes》, 《How to Speak Dog》,以及《 Inside a Dog》。我们可以找到有许多关于认知，自然以及促进我们与好朋友之间的交流的方法的著作。尽管所有的这些研究人员都在遵循着某种方法，但你要知道与重要的社交元素进行互动的能力有可能推动一切的发展也有可能彻底将其摧毁。

让我们来说说与工程师的交流。

communication(from legalvoice)

作为一个非技术性之人，你是如何与工程师建立起关系并与之进行交谈？我的一个朋友问过我这一问题。首先，我们必须注意的是他与我具有非常好的关系并保持定期的交谈。所以很明显，他已经传达了某些程度的工程师内容。就像小猫会为了示威而抓你的手一样，工程师也会为了创造出强大的交流关系而要求更深入的情感理解。

让我们假设你并未遇到像我这样的技术型译者——你没有能力去选择与之轻松建立关系的工程师。你将如何创造能够创造1）更让人愉快的互动，2）减少紧张感，3）完善你的产品的社交和专业关系，

聆听

首先，当你在与一名工程师交谈时，你必须掌握花费在聆听与说话的时间各是多少。通常情况下，工程师带有社交认知障碍，从而会让他们在新的社交情境中觉的不自然。在这种情况下，你可以询问一些有关他们的工作的简单问题（要避免任何追根究底的问题，或者像老板谈论产品的情况）。如果他们很少讲话的话，当他们开口时你就应该保持关注并认真聆听。

表示你积极聆听对方讲话的一种好方法便是重复工程师所说的话。“所以，你指的是我们很难在PS3上使用着色器，对吗？”这样一句简单的句子将表示出你的关注和兴趣，并且能够有效地推动着交谈的继续（游戏邦注：这是心理治疗医生会采用的方法）。

走向他们并找到中立的位置

在某个地方呼唤一名工程师或未做出任何描述而决定一次会面是工程师眼里最糟糕的行为。不仅因为对于他们来说时间非常宝贵，同时这种非预期组织的事件将会造成他们的心理恐慌。工程师将会开始询问为什么你要这么说，你将说些什么，以及你是否将尝试这在他的脑子里创造这种情境。这将导致他们的忧虑，并减少你想要看到的任何交谈的效率。

相反地，你应该尝试着走向工程师，特别是当你遇到的是“不合时宜的时间”，或者你注意到他们并不是特别忙于工作时。我强烈建议你能够基于“嘿，是否想要喝杯咖啡”这样的模式进行你们的第一次交谈。不要在第一次交谈时就直接切入工作。相反地，你应该借助咖啡因的帮助，然后一起前往某个地方再开始交谈。这将能够提供给工程师机会去做出是否想要花时间与你交流的选择。

我有一个形式化方法能够做到这点。每一周，我会带着每一位工程师去外面喝茶。这样的聚会是松散的，但在时间上却保持一致，甚至可以记入每位工程师的日程表中。我清楚地对每个新进员工讲述了这些会面是为了发现我能够为他们做些什么，他们有何感受以及如何发挥我作为其支持者的角色。

幼儿阶段

这可能听起来很荒谬，但不管怎样我还是会说：从小事开始发展你们的关系。说早安。简单地喝杯咖啡。你需要基于信任基础去创建你们的关系——1）你并不是在审判他们，2）你并不是想让他们做些特别的工作（如加班），3）你真的对进行一场自然的对话很感兴趣。如果一位工程师之前是个无响应者，你就要特别去寻找他真正喜欢的内容，并主动提出来，而不要强制地问太多问题。要留给对方足够的时间和空间。

毕竟你们要一起工作好几年。请慢慢来。

赞扬

当存在疑虑时，赞扬就是信任的开始。“在上周的交付工作中你表现得很好”对于那些尝试着创造出产品的人来说意义重大。当处在聆听阶段时，“你解释得很好，现在我能理解了”将有效地维系起信任的纽带。

带着重大的责任感

也许上述内容听起来就像是操作配方。请不要带着这样想法去使用它。事实上也存在许多敏锐的工程师，他们带有敏感的操作机制（我便是其中一个）。也许我不会说自己知道你在做什么，但我知道这是真正发生着的事。其次，当你打破信任时，工程师将会认真衡量你口中说出的每一个字。所以请保持礼貌与真诚。

这么做是因为它能够在工作上帮到你。这么做是因为所有的互助与交流是去除这个世界的邪恶的第一步。

（本文为游戏邦/gamerboom.com编译，拒绝任何不保留版权的转载，如需转载请联系：游戏邦）

How to Speak Engineer

by Andrew Grapsas

You’ve heard of Through a Dog’s Eyes, How to Speak Dog, and Inside a Dog. Somehow, there is ample literature on the perceptions, natures, and ways to facilitate good communication between man’s best friend and ourselves (assuming you, the reader, are human — apologies if you are not). At some point, while all of these researchers were following around doodle-this and doodle-that and watching them sniff butts, you would think one might observe and potentially interact with a far more important element of society that has the ability to build or break, well, everything.

The engineer.

As a non-technical person, how do you begin building a relationship with and speaking to an engineer? One of my friends basically asked this question of me. First, it is important to note that he and I have a very good relationship and talk regularly. So, obviously, he already speaks some level of engineer. Just as there are cats that will nip or swat at your hand at the least threatening of touches, there are engineers that require a deeper emotional understanding in order to craft a powerful relationship with good communication.

But, let us assume you do not have a me — a translator of technology personalities — and you do not have the ability to carefully select engineers that you will have an easy time building relationships with. How do you go about the creation of a social and professional rapport that will make 1) interactions more pleasant 2) reduce tensions all around and 3) improve your products.

Listen

First, when you are talking to an engineer, be aware of how much time you spend listening versus speaking. Often times, engineers have social cognitive disorders that make them feel uncomfortable in new social situations. In these cases, asking simple, easy questions about their work (make sure to avoid anything that could be seen as digging for progress or a boss/manager speaking about the product) should illicit a wealth of conversation. If speaking is a rare event for them, make sure you pay attention and listen.

A good way to show that you are actively listening is to repeat back what the engineer has said. “So, what I am hearing is it is difficult to work with shaders on the PS3, is that correct?” This simple sentence shows that you are paying attention, that you are interested, and that it is OK to keep talking (note: this is a trick trained to psychotherapists).

Go to Them or Find Neutral Ground

Calling an engineer somewhere or setting a meeting without a description is one of the worst acts you can perform in the eyes of an engineer. Not only is time sacred, but providing an unstructured anticipatory event will solicit imaginative panic. That is, an engineer will begin to question why you are speaking, what you will say, and will attempt to mold the situation in her mind. This leads to anxiety and will reduce the productivity of whatever chat you were intending to have.

Instead, try to go to the engineer, especially if they have an “off time” or you notice they are less engaged with their work. I highly suggest structuring your first conversations in a, “Hey, want to grab a coffee?” fashion. Do not make your first conversations immediately about work. Instead, get an upper (caffeine), make it somewhere you have to walk to or drive to, and begin the listening exercise above. This gives the engineer the option of engaging and supplies time to communicate.

I have formal methods for achieving this specific result. Every other week, I take each of my engineers out for tea. The meeting is unstructured, but consistent in time and can live on each engineer’s calendar. I make it very clear to new hires that these meetings are about discovering what I can do for them, how they are feeling, and to support my role as their advocate.

Baby Steps

This will sound ridiculous, but I will say it anyway: begin your relationship small. Say good morning. Go for a quick coffee. You need to build your relationship on a foundation of trust — 1) that you aren’t judging them 2) that you aren’t asking them to do anything special (such as work overtime one night) and 3) that you are genuinely interested in crafting a natural dialog. If an engineer is non-responsive early on, make a point of finding what she really enjoys and bringing it up, but do not push hard or ask a lot of questions if an engineer is being non-responsive. Give her space and time.

You are going to work together for years. Baby steps.

Praise

When in doubt, praise is the beginning of trust. “You did a great job on last week’s deliverable,” means a lot to someone who was heads down trying to get a product out. When in the listening phase, “You explained that well, now I understand” can go a long way to establishing a bond of trust.

With Great Responsibility

As a note, the above might sound like a recipe for manipulation. Please do not use it for such. There are ample keen engineers out there that have very sensitive manipulation mechanics (I am one of them). I might not say that I know what you are doing, but I know it is happening. The second you break that trust, an engineer will weigh and measure every word that comes out of your mouth. Be respectful. Be sincere.

Do this because it will help you at your job. Do this because we are all interdependent and good communication is the first step in removing evil from this world.

Let me know how your conversations go and good luck!(source:gamasutra)