作者：David Barnes

用精炼的语言描述游戏

当你发布一款游戏时，你得在App Store、Facebook或者自己的网站对其进行产品描述。如果描述到位了，可能就会收获大量玩家。如果描述不当，就会错失一些原本可能喜欢你游戏的玩家。能否提高你的游戏描述技巧？

首先，成功的游戏描述都要遵循以下特定结构：

*用一句话概括游戏

*最多用5个句子来描述

*用富有煽动性的一句话完成描述并吸引玩家

*列出一系列游戏特点，以便说服不确定的用户

让我们挨个进行说明。

一句话概括游戏

这个句子要和刀子一样犀利。其目的在于让感兴趣的人继续看下去，没有兴趣的人自行离开。你得在句子中点出主要的“游戏趣味”。

尝试点出游戏的核心目标，游戏主题，以及主要机制。在此不需要耗费太多笔墨。以下是PopCap对《Dynomite》的一句话描述：

“破坏史前巨蛋的趣味！”

主题——恐龙。关键目标——摧毁恐龙蛋。机制——未明，但有破坏可能就有爆炸。这真是言简意赅，廖廖数字就为玩家传递了无限信息。

这种一句话概括当然要以一个感叹号结束。它也需要赢得玩家的惊叹。

想想你该如何用几个词语概括游戏？

最多用5个句子来描述

你要在此告诉读者玩游戏的感觉。《Dynomite》仅需一句话就描述清楚了：

“用你的弹弓匹配三个或更多颜色相同的恐龙蛋……让它们爆炸！”

注意，它并没有描述游戏，而是描述玩家的行为。“用你的弹弓”，“匹配三个或更多”，“让它们爆炸”。

这有本质上的不同。看看App Store或Facebook或其他平台的顶尖游戏，其游戏描述文本基本上都不是在描述游戏，而是描述玩家在游戏中的操作。

多数游戏对此仅用3句话，也有些游戏需要更多语句来描述，有些则更少。

最好用3个短句告诉玩家他们在游戏中可以做什么。

“煽动性句子”——发起挑战或者号召行动

《Dynomite》对应的句子是：

“你该如何在Mama Brontosaurus践踏你的游戏之前，炸毁所有的恐龙蛋？”

发起挑战只是其中一种方法。另一个流行的做法则更为“厚脸皮”，这要以《FarmVille》为例：

“快来看看大家在叫嚣什么”

玩游戏以便看看其他人为什么要玩这款游戏。《宝石迷阵》使用了类似技巧：

“《宝石迷阵》是继《俄罗斯方块》之后，首款以及唯一进入电脑游戏界名人堂的作品。欲知原因，自己玩玩看吧！”

还有许多方法可以达到同样的效果。

仔细想想该如何点出促使玩家采取行动体验/购买/下载你游戏的因素？

列出特色

App Store有自己的划分列表，你的特色列表就是与之对应的一系列要点。要将此视为优势列表，而非特点列表。对于你所列出的每项特色，都要明确指出为何它会让游戏更有趣。如果你不明白如何让这一特色听起来更有趣，那就不要提到它。要多用游戏化的字词来描述，例如“令人兴奋”、“沉浸感”、“挑战性”等有利于推销游戏的字眼。

要考虑你想列出的每项特色，究竟如何令游戏更有趣味？

游戏文案建议

1.销售！没有人真的会对你的游戏描述感兴趣。用户是希望你说服他们买下/体验游戏。要争取一切机制将游戏直接推销给玩家。

2.避免在描述中使用“这是一款……（游戏）”这种句式。因为这很无趣，更适用于百科全书而非游戏推销文本。

3.要少用高科技含量和铁杆玩家专用的字词。因为这些字眼对读者来说的意义不大，它们无法让多数人产生情感共鸣。MMO、RPG、持续世界等专有名词对多数人来说无甚意义，也不太可能促进销售。

4.要使用“符合题材”的字词。动作游戏应当包含“充满动感”、“快节奏”、“令人兴奋”等词语。寻物解谜游戏则应包含“探索”、“寻找”、“揭露”、“解琐”、“神秘”等字眼。

5.在描述中所说的每件事都应该与玩法密切相关。如果你发现有些句子或字词并不能说服玩家去玩游戏，那就要果断删除。

6.句子要以动词为始。开头要用让玩家采取行动的动词。例如“杀出一条血路冲向顶峰！”就比“这是一款你必须一路过关斩将到达顶峰”这种句子效果更好——其效果也远甚于“通过战斗到达顶峰”这种句子。所以最好在句子开头使用丰富有趣的动词。

7.要经常提到“你”和“你的”。永远不要提“玩家”。毕竟，你这是在跟希望成为玩家的人对话。

8.要说“这个”而不是“一个”。“这是一款需要让你解琐下水道、令人上瘾的解谜游戏”这种表达就优于“《Pooper Scooper》是一款让玩家解琐下水道、令人上瘾的解谜游戏。”

9.不要浪费词语。要避免使用“XX是一款游戏”，“其背景故事是”等表达。因为这些是不言自明的内容。

10.中止悬念。我们都清楚并没有发生所谓的星球大战。我们也知道自己不可能驾驭一艘超过光速的星际战舰。能够让玩家暂时忘记现实并投入游戏体验的描述会更有趣味和吸引力。这也正是我们应该摒弃“XXX是一款游戏”以及“其背景故事是”这种克板句式的另一原因。

11.语句要简洁。一个句子最好不要超过20个词。越少越好。

案例研究

以下是Bad Bumble游戏《Solitaire Siege》的开场句式：

“《Solitaire Siege》是一款基于动作的纸牌式游戏，让玩家使用手榴弹、火焰喷射器、火箭炮、狙击手甚至是空袭来帮助他们扫清桌牌。”

这个句子虽然描述了游戏，但并不能推销游戏，应该进行修改：

*去掉“《Siege Solitaire》是一款”并将其替换为“it’s”

*将其划分为两个小短句

*使用“这款”而不是“一款”，使用“你”而非“玩家”

*删除冗余的字词，尤其是“让（玩家）”

*找到比“使用”更有力度的动词

以下是修改例句：

“这是一款动感十足的纸牌游戏，你在其中利用纸牌对抗极品坏蛋。”

然后再分一段描述剩下的内容：

“投掷手榴弹、火箭发射器，发动空袭助你在这场金纸塔纸牌风暴中扫清障碍！”（本文为游戏邦/gamerboom.com编译，拒绝任何不保留版权的转载，如需转载请联系：游戏邦）

Describe Your Game Better! Hook More Players! Make More Money!

By David Barnes

This post was originally hosted on David Barnes‘s blog, and Nicholas liked it so much he included it in How to Publish A Game. David’s blog host shut down, and the post was no longer available, so I asked if we could publish it here, and he agreed.

If you are ever likely to launch a game on iOS, Android, Steam or pretty well anywhere where you will have to grab the attention of potential players with a fewer well chosen words, you should bookmark this post. You’ll thank us later

Make your game a success by giving it a kick ass description!

When you release a game you need to describe it — on the App Store, on Facebook, on your own site. Get the description right and you can expect to see a lot more players. Get it wrong, and people who’d probably LOVE your game will never even get to try it.

Can you improve your game describing skills? Read on and find out!

First of all, successful game descriptions follow a particular structure:

one sentence to sum up the game;

up to five sentences describing it;

the “snapper” that closes the deal and hooks the player;

and a list of features the persuade the uncertain.

Let’s look at each of these in turn.

One Sentence to Sum Up the Game

This sentence needs to be sharp as a knife. Its purpose is to get people who will like the game to read on, and get rid of people who won’t. You have to get the main “game fun” across in just one sentence.

Try to establish the key goal of the game, the theme of the game, and the main mechanic. You don’t need many words to do this. Here’s the one sentence description for Dynomite by PopCap:

“It’s prehistoric egg blasting fun!”

Theme — dinosaurs. Key goal — destroy eggs somehow. Mechanic — unclear, but involves blasting so there’s probably explosions. Oh, and it’s fun by the way. A brilliant one sentence summary that tells the player a lot in only five words.

The one sentence summary absolutely needs to end with an exclamation point. And it needs to earn that exclamation point too.

How can you sum up your game in just a few words?

Up To Five Sentences Giving a Fuller Description

This is where you tell your reader what it’ll be like to play the game. Dynomite needs only one sentence here:

Use your slingshot to match three or more dino eggs of the same color… and watch them explode!

Notice that this doesn’t describe the game. Instead, it describes what the player does. Use your slingshot. Match three or more. Watch them explode.

This is a crucial difference. Look at any of the top games on the App Store or Facebook or anywhere else. The game description text doesn’t describe the game, it describes what the player does when they play.

Most games can use about three sentences here. Some need more. Some fewer.

Tell the player what they get to DO in your game, in about three short sentences.

The Snapper — A Challenge or Call to Action

The snapper makes a brazen appeal to the reader to just play the game already. In Dynomite:

Can you blast all the eggs before Mama Brontosaurus tramples your game?

A challenge is just one way to do this. Another popular method is even more brazen. Look at Farmville’s snapper:

Come and see what everyone is hootin’ and hollerin’ about.

Play the game to find out why other people are playing the game. Bejewelled uses a similar technique:

Bejeweled is the first and only puzzle game since Tetris to be inducted into Computer Gaming World’s Hall of Fame. Play it yourself to find out why!

There are loads of ways to do this.

What’s the one thing you can say that’s going to compel the player to take action and play / buy / download your damn game?

The Feature List

The App Store has its own section where you list features as a set of bullet points. Treat this as a benefit list, not a feature list. For every feature you list, make it really obvious why it’ll make the game more fun. If you can’t figure out how to make the feature sound fun then don’t bother to mention it. Keep throwing in game-friendly words and phrases like “exciting”, “addictive”, “challenging” and so on. Words that will sell the game.

For each feature you want to list, how does it make the game better for players?

Game Copy Writing Tips

Sell! Nobody is really interested in a description of your game. People are there because they want you to persuade them to buy / play it. Use the opportunity to sell your game directly to the player.
Avoid “[title] is a…” in your description. It’s boring and is more suited to an encyclopaedia than a sales pitch for a game.

Be sparing with techie and gamer words. They probably don’t mean as much to the reader as they do to you, and they carry no emotion for most people. MMO, RPG, persistent browser game — these words don’t mean much to most people, and will rarely close a sale.

Do use “genre appropriate” words. Action games should include words like “action-packed”, “fast-paced”, “thrilling”. Hidden Object Games should include words like “discover”, “find”, “uncover”, “unlock”, “mysteries”. And so on.

Every single thing you say must be a good reason to play. If you’ve put in a sentence or phrase that doesn’t give the player a reason to play, take it out.

Start sentences with VERBS. Starting sentences with a verb puts the player into the action. “Fight your way to the top!” is better than, “A game where you must fight your way to the top” – and much better than “get to the top by fighting”. Serve up big, action packed verbs at the start of sentences.

Say “you” and “your” a lot. Never “the player”. After all, you’re talking to people who you want to BE players. Right?

Say “the” not “an”. “It’s the addictive puzzle game where you have to unblock the sewer” is better than “Pooper Scooper is an addictive puzzle game where the player has to unblock a sewer”.

Don’t waste words. There are lots of phrases that you just don’t need, because the context makes it obvious. Phrases like “is a game”, “the backstory is”, and so on. We don’t need to be told this.

Suspend disbelief. We know that there isn’t really an intergalactic war going on. We know that we won’t really be piloting a faster than light star ship. But it’s more fun and more compelling if the game description lets us forget reality and experience the game. That’s another reason for leaving out “is a game” and “the backstory is” type phrases.

Keep sentences short. More than 20 words is really pushing it. Much less is best.

Case Study

Here’s the opening sentence for Solitaire Siege by Bad Bumble…

Solitaire Siege is an action based solitaire (Pyramid) style game where the player gets to use Grenades, Flame Throwers, Rocket Launchers, Snipers and even Air Strikes to help them clear the table of cards.

This describes the game, but it doesn’t sell the game. Let’s:

Get rid of “Siege Solitaire is an” and replace it with “it’s”.

Break it into two shorter sentences.

Use “the” instead of “an”, use “you” instead of “the player”.

Ditch the wasted words — particularly “gets to”

Find more powerful verbs than “use”

New opening sentence…

It’s the action-packed solitaire game where you fight against the nastiest playing cards you’ve ever seen!

And the left-over becomes the first part of the fuller description…

Hurl grenades, fire rocket launchers, and call in air strikes to help clear your cards in this thrilling take on pyramid solitaire!（source：gamesbrief）